Down in the Dumps....

While usually my posts consist of happy news & cute pictures of my nieces & nephews....this post does not. I am having a really hard time right now. I am at a time in my life where I feel stuck. I'm ready to move out and get my own place. I don't even know where to begin and I have no help really to get started. Yes, I've talked to people about where to begin...but I need someone who can physically help me with each step. It's not that I hate my parents or anything, but I am pretty much unhappy. I feel like its time for me to move out. I have been getting in stupid arguments with my mom and I hate it. Sometimes I feel like they want me to move out, but then when I mention it they seem to be so against it. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Anyway...I'm praying for some guidance and hoping that God will open up a door or two in the very near future so that I can venture out on my own.....

I am having a difficult time letting go. I beat myself up over my past mistakes and can't seem to forgive myself. I know God has forgiven me BUT I think of things every day and I can't seem to let go and let God (as the old time Nazarene saying goes). So instead, 3 or 4 nights a week I cry myself to sleep for things that I need to let go of....I pray for peace.

My last "concern" is the fact that I feel responsible for someone else's backsliding in their walk with God. I KNOW it's not my fault, but I hate that I can't help this person. She is one of my dear friends and it kills me to see her suffer because of poor choices she has made & continues to make in her life. :( I feel so helpless. I try to "forget about her" and "not worry" but for some reason I am drawn back to the issue time and time again. Am I suppose to be there for her? Does God want me to be in her life? Or am I supposed to just drop her? I am lost and I need to find answers. I am so impatient and I don't want to wait for God's response....

If you pray, please pray for me. I am going through a really hard time right now and I'm ready to get out of this rut I'm in and progress forward to my future. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of lovely things in my life to be grateful for but I still feel like I'm missing something....

I promise my next post will be happier :)